I used to be the queen of never-ending to-do lists. No matter how much I accomplished, there was always something else waiting for me. My mind was so good at creating that I’d keep adding more tasks as soon as one was crossed off - on average, I would say 3 new tasks to every 1 crossed off...🙈 but that wasn't the worst part. The worst part was the mental NOISE that came with it. The constant racing thoughts, the guilt of not doing enough, and the fear of failure. I wasn’t just overwhelmed by my to-do list; I was consumed by it.
This feeling of being stuck in a never-ending cycle of tasks and expectations started to affect every aspect of my life, and I knew something had to change. That’s when I began focusing on quieting the mental clatter - and if you're like where I was, literally wanting to run away from the world, then please, read on...
The Mental Clatter: What’s Really Going On?
At one point, I was juggling a full-time job, a part-time coaching business, a part-time founder of a CIC, a part-time friend, and a full-time girlfriend. (Anyone else know what I'm talking about? I know I'm not the only one out there! 🙋♀️) It wasn’t the physical side that was overwhelming - it was actually the mental load that I couldn’t escape. I found myself lying awake at night, replaying my to-do list over and over in my head, or waking up with a pit in my stomach, dreading the arrival of every morning and drowning in the expectations that were waiting for me.
I realised that what I was dealing with wasn’t just about being busy - it was the pressure to be there and do stuff in all areas of my life. The fear of letting someone down, not being able to offer my best, and not living up to external or my own expectations really weighed me down so much so that I didn't even want to get out of bed most days. I even bought a foldable desk that I could put on my bed, so on days I didn't have meetings or needed to go on camera, I would do everything in bed and not change out of my PJs. This mental clatter only added to the exhaustion and I kept getting ill almost every week.
This kept going on and on for months before I realised the downward spiral that I was stuck in, and I knew I had to do something about it. The breakthrough came when I stopped just doing and started to focus on my own needs first.
In this post I want to share with you some of the things that I need that helped be break free from that never ending cycle, so you can peel yourself away from the seductions of your to-do list:
Prioritise with Purpose
The first thing I did was learn to stop and ask myself what actually mattered. I remember one morning when I had a long list of things to do, but I realised I was just putting out fires and not focusing on what would really move myself (and my mental peace) forward, towards my goal. I looked at my list, and I asked: What’s the ONE thing I can do today that will make a real difference? And suddenly, my mind felt clearer.
I started blocking out the distractions and focused on the task that would give me the biggest return - not just in terms of productivity but in terms of relieving mental clutter. My advice is - whilst you can still have your to-do list, never have more than 3 tasks that you are going to do in 1 day, with the most important one as your "must do", and the others optional. This way, you give yourself the opportunity to flex your list depending on your energy levels. If you do more than 1 task - amazing. If you only complete 1 tasks, you know that you've still done the 1 thing that will propel you forward the most for that day.
Be Realistic with Yourself
I used to think that I could do it all - 50 tasks in 1 hour - no problem right? WRONG! 🙈After pushing myself too hard, I realised that saying yes to everything was draining me. One day, I took a step back and started being more aware of the time it actually took me to do each task, so I can become more aware of how many tasks I can physically/mentally handle in 1 day. Knowing this, it helped me to say no more often - not just to others, but also to my own inner critic that said I had to take everything on. That was a huge turning point for me. I had to remind myself that my worth wasn’t tied to how much I did.
Time Block
Time blocking was a game changer for me. Before, I’d try to multi-task, bouncing between businesses, tasks, and identities, all while feeling like nothing was getting done. Once I started blocking off chunks of uninterrupted time for deep work, I felt more focused and less stressed.
For example, I dedicated 2 hours every evening to work on my businesses, and at least 1 weekend day with my partner - and suddenly I wasn’t feeling the mental pull of other tasks during that time because it gave me the space to focus.
Practice Mindful Breaks
I remember feeling guilty for taking breaks, thinking I was wasting precious time. But I realised that without giving myself a chance to breathe, I was only burning out faster. Now, I make a point to take mindful breaks throughout my day. A few minutes of deep breathing, stepping away from my desk for a bit, or even a 20-30mins nap resets my mind and energy, allowing me to return with clarity.
Your to-do list doesn’t have to control you. By prioritising with purpose, getting to know yourself and being realising, and creating simple systems like time blocking, you can reduce mental clatter and feel more in control.
I know what it’s like to feel like the list is never-ending. But trust me, there’s freedom in embracing simplicity. The key isn’t getting everything done - it’s quieting your mind enough to focus on what truly matters. 🗝️
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